Afternoon. :/
I'm letting time fly by with a plastic smile printed on my face. Sarcasm is a way of life. I'm slowly coming to the sinking realization that I am a loser. first it was that hot hot best friend thing that my heart gets in the way of my mind and i close myself to the truth about people. i followed my instincts and avoided him. now, i can't take him back anymore and i regret avoiding his treatment.
tapos those people from school who underestimates me like they're intellectual enough to do so is being a burden too. peer pressure can be really depressing. after everything i've given and done they won't show even a shred of appreciation.
my sisters are in Baguio. i don't have anyone to talk to about how shallow my so-called friends are. well, i don't really talk about those things with them unless it involves really funny wrong grammar. they just underestimate themselves as a way of entertainment and i would forget about the things that makes me tick.
the dreadful thought of public speaking is eating me and whatever crap i sow in my head that it will not affect me in any way is not working. I've said, "Public humiliation does wonders for the soul" countless of times but i'm still so scared of looking at people's eyes.
Remember when i said i wanted to have another one of those silly random conversation with Deljan? That's nonexistent anymore. Frae and he are officially a couple now. It's disappointing. Iono why i feel that way. I'm not jealous as most people would assume and the way i act around him might change even more. And sorry for feeling terrible about it. It's just that a lot of unexpected things have happened these past weeks.
Deljan. I'd give you all the love and support in the world. i hope you'd be able to make her really happy to counteract what her ex did to her. She doesn't deserve that. Sorry for disagreeing with the relationship the first time i heard about it. It's just that Frae was your best friend and that she was there with you when i was not. And now that you're having a commitment (minor commitment! the cheesy stuff. not matrimony. :p) with her, everything's gonna change and that sooner or later, when you hafta part ways, it would be hard to bring that friendship back. Then you'd have to go through those sleepless nights again. Ayun lang naman. But still, congratstulaaationss, beybe. :D
Man, it would be hard to keep a straight face saying that to him personally. :D
I'll just be scarred for life. Don't pay attention to my agonized moans.
Ham. I want exotic food with Sue and Rox. I might get a haircut tomorrow with her. I'm gonna chop my hair short and legally change my name to Knives. And then move to another country, dimension or something. :D Hafta go. Impatient ka Sue! Madaya. :p
;&kariin.